The Family Way
Building a Family Foundation for a Future of Strength
A person can work incredibly hard and still discover they are walking toward a life they never intentionally chose. Movement and direction are not the same thing, and almost nothing in ordinary life forces you to tell them apart.
This is 234 pages of the questions that made the difference for me: what I actually wanted, what kind of husband and father I meant to be, and what I was really building with the choices I made every day.
If any of this sounds familiar
These are the people I wrote it for. I was one of them.
- You work constantly, and still could not say what you are building toward.
- You love your family deeply and still feel disconnected from them.
- Your career went well, and you are quietly wondering why that was not enough.
- You know something needs to change, and you cannot name what.
- You have values you have never actually put into words.
- There is a conversation you have been avoiding longer than you want to admit.
I have seen too many people who seem lost inside lives they are working incredibly hard to maintain, searching for some sense that the life they are building actually belongs to them. I know what that search feels like. I also know that nobody can simply hand another person the answer.
If you recognized yourself in that list, this book was written for you.
Get the bookWhat it is, and what it is not
Worth being clear before you spend money on it.
It is a book of questions.
It is not a book of answers. I cannot tell you what your family should stand for.
It is one family's example.
It is not a model to copy. My path is not your path.
Faith is in it, because it is in me.
It is not preaching. What faith means to you belongs to you.
It is built to come back to.
It is not a program with a finish line. Different questions land at different times in your life.
Four things it keeps coming back to
Not chapters. The ground everything else in the book stands on.
Love is the reason any of it is worth doing. Respect is what love looks like on a day you disagree. Trust is what survives after you have both been wrong. Legacy is the part that outlives you, and the only one of the four you are building whether you meant to or not.
The book closes with the creed those four produced, which I still use when my actions do not match my intentions. It is free to read here: The Wheeler Way.
Read the reasoning underneath all four.
Order on AmazonFree bonus
The companion workbook
A glimpse inside the book, and five exercises you can work through whether or not you ever buy it.
Nine pages. An excerpt from the Introduction, then five exercises built on the ideas behind it: telling movement from direction, separating what you control from what you do not, naming what your family stands for, scoring yourself honestly against five keys I wrote in 2018, and choosing one small change you will actually make this week.
It is free, there is no email form, and nothing is held back. Download it, print it, and give it to anyone you like.
The workbook asks the questions. The book is where they came from.
Order on AmazonRead it before you buy it
The entire Introduction, free, no signup.
I would rather you read the opening and decide it is not for you than buy it on a promise. It is 1,454 words, and it will tell you quickly whether the voice is one you want to spend 234 pages with.
Who wrote it
I served in the Army Signal Corps as a 31D and 31F and provided battalion automation support. Over thirty years in Alaska I have started, owned, or partnered in more companies than I can reliably count, including Alaska Computer Support, which I founded in 1998 and still operate. I am President of the Alaska State Defense Force Soldiers Association.
None of that qualifies me to tell you how to live. It is the reason I spent a long time working on systems, noticed that a family is one too, and eventually wrote down what I found. More about me.
Questions people ask
Do I have to read it in order?
No. It is built so you can open it where you are. Plenty of people will get more out of starting with whatever chapter title describes their week.
Is this a religious book?
No. My faith is part of how I walk and I say so plainly, but I have no interest in telling you what yours should be. If faith is not part of your life, the questions still work.
I am not married. Is it still for me?
Yes. Family means whatever it means in your life. The work is deciding what you stand for and living closer to it, and that does not require a spouse.
What if I just want to see whether it is any good?
Read the whole Introduction free on this site, and take the companion workbook. Neither costs anything and neither asks for your email.
How long is it?
234 pages. Most people do not read it in one sitting, and it was not written to be.
One small change
Direction is created through steps. You do not have to see the whole road. You only have to decide what matters enough to take the next step.
Still deciding? The introduction and the workbook are both free.